Sometimes I wonder if misaligned planets trigger subtle dysfunction between positive and happy people! Lately many friends have shared personal challenges that involved a conflict with someone else. It’s as if there’s a perpetual full moon nudging the bullies into provoking my good-natured friends!
We all have ways of diffusing conflicts. I pull in my reins and ask, ” Is this about ego?” If so, remove the ego, and the problem usually evaporates. Another wise quote reminds us to ask, “Is it kind? Is it necessary? If not, it’s best left unsaid.” If a conflict is weighing heavy on my heart, a healthy dose of gardening usually realigns and calms my psyche. I realize that caustic retorts are never the best solution, and after spending time pulling weeds or deadheading flowers, my problems evaporate.
When all else fails, and the devil tips closer to punching my buttons, I remember this quote, and it always helps me put things back in perspective:
THE BENEFITS OF GARDENING
“I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my knuckles and punch them in the face.” (Jarod Kintz)
Keep smiling, amigos, and watch out for that devil! 😀 Z
Couldn’t agree more my friend! 😀
Thanks, songbird! 🙂 z
Too true – sad how so often it’s all about the ego!
I agree, a spot of gardening usually cools me off, but I wouldn’t punch my antagonist in the face – then I’d be left with a sore hand and a guilty conscience! Would be hard to resist saying “f…. you”, right up close though 🙂
no, i wouldn’t punch them either, but the quote tickled me! there have been times when someone punched my buttons, and i reacted, and i regretted that i allowed them to pull me to their level. i eventually realized that it’s a big world out there, and all i had to do was hold my tongue and physically walk away and remove myself from the negative person! .z
Just so!
This quote made me laugh. I don’t agree with hitting/punching either, though. When I get upset or riled up, I visit my local garden center and wander around among the plants and flowers. It’s as if they speak to me and tell me this is what matters, not negativity.
Ah! The joys of garden centers! I had all but forgotten about the variety of plants, the comforting atmosphere, and the instant cloud-forest climate one experiences, especially during cold weather!
Thanks for your feedback!
Z
Gardening… how I missed it! It’s amazing how nature could turn around our bad days by simply looking at the plants and flowers we grow. It tells a lot of stories. I extremely agree with you, without the punching 🙂
Surely living in the concrete jungles of cities robs many of the joys of connecting with nature on an intimate level. You are so right how it can turn around a bad day!
Thanks so much, and I am so happy that you’re not one to throw punches!!!!
z
Well said…generally conflicts that come my way results in bruised feelings and my defense mechanism turns hurt feelings into anger. So I try and stay away from my garden , always concerned that instead of deadheading a flower the entire plant will come out by the roots. So I pick up my clarinet or head to the keyboard. Music does soothe the savage beast..
you are so right! i don’t prune (or cut hair) if i’m troubled! yes, music provides a great solution!
z
What a great post..I have spent many an hour in the flowerbeds sorting out thoughts and enjoying the feeling of a productive way to diffuse hurt and ire.
you are right, and gardening does diffuse hurt/ire, and it does help mend a bruised soul.
z
So true..Our egos play a huge role in how we react to a situation/person. Of late, I’ve started listening to a Hindu chant whenever I’m upset or depressed. helps me a lot!
do you have a link to that chant?
z
It is long and complicated chant in sanskrit.It is called ‘Vishnu Sahasranamam’, the 1000 names of Vishnu,considered to be the most powerful chant in Hinduism. If u’re interested, you can look it up in wikipedia for background info.
This is a link where it is chanted slower than the normal speed and with meaning. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8tJCTgkwQQ
A dose of Eckhart Tolle helps me when I am in that mood. Also, writing a page in one of my art journals decorated with “flowers” doesn’t hurt either. Good post Lisa
thank you janet!
i have a pool of quotes large enough to row across! positive quotes have always inspired and influenced me…
a few days ago i was thinking that i should get back into painting botanicals and thought, ‘every sunday i should paint a flower, even if it’s a petite one!’
z
Good idea to check your ego at the door – if it can be done. Being able to do that is one accomplishment. Problem evaporating is another. 2 birds …
so true, and some people have a hard time stepping away from the ego and wonder why the problem won’t evaporate! z
Great post and so well said. As I get older I realize conflict is a waste of my precious time and energy.
if only more people realized that! it’s usually not worth the effort!
z
I enjoyed the post and the photos. Gardening is a great stress releiver, I always look forward to seeing our garden when I return from a gypsy journey. But oh that quote… loved it till I got to the “punch” line. In my younger days when something made me angry or frustrated I would to go down to the wood pile at the end of the garden and chop wood for the fire
yes, i have chopped wood in the past and loved it.. i also loved the great workout!
there’s something so comforting about returning home to find something in the garden that’s smiling and saying, ‘welcome home.’ presently i am loving the profuse growth of fresh mint, which i brew almost daily with hibiscus and ginger.
i have been surprised at the comments about the quote.. it caught me so off guard that i laughed… not expecting a ”punch.'” though i am with everyone else that it is never the way to solve a stressful history!
as always, i treasure your feedback!
z
Yes that mint can be a real sneaky little spreader, but I love the smell and fresh taste
This is is very wonderfully done. A great post. Thank you for passing this on. A garden to pass on a very positive message. Again thank you. Penny
hey
thanks for the inbox full of positive comments! i look forward to doing the same on yours!
z
my pleasure, and I look forward to seeing you there! 🙂
LOVE the quote! Wouldn’t punch my adversary either, but I love it all the same 🙂
Exactly! Thanks for being a partner in pondering the possibilities!
Z
The Kintz quote is a classic~